Saturday 21 January 2017
Radcliffe St Mary’s v Castle Hill – Div 1
It was great to meet Home chairman, linesman and Secretary’s spouse, Dave Gantz. We reckoned we must have played against each other during his long association with Bury GSOB. By the time he finished his LAL travelogue – for him to his father-in-law’s Catholic club; for the players from Failsworth to Radcliffe; and his personal intention to return as the Club’s 52-year-old goalkeeper; I had lost track of this new club’s pedigree and decided to watch a team whose 1st XI had shipped 10 goals at my Club a fortnight previously, but whose Reserves then beat Ashtonians Reserves 4-5 last week.
Castle Hill were the dominant team although scores were level at 1-1 at half-time and, although Radcliffe St Mary’s were the weaker side, they created a number of half-chances. Castle Hill dominated the second-half with a couple of goals which put the ultimate result beyond doubt, but then this uneventful game sprang into disciplinary life 10 minutes from the end, as I was wandering back to my car. It was pre-empted by the extraordinary claims of the Castle Hill goalkeeper in challenging a club linesman’s decision that the ball was out-of-play on a touchline 90 yards from the goalkeeper’s central position in the opposite penalty area. [Note to players: nothing annoys referees more than players appealing against decisions from the opposite ends of the pitch accompanied by volleys of abusive language.] Following an immediate, subsequent incident which, Wenger-like, I did not see, the referee sent-off one player from each side.
The Radcliffe player was not happy. He continued…and continued…and continued to abuse anyone within earshot until he had to be instructed (very calmly and expertly) by the referee to leave the area. As he was chased-off by the Home team’s Secretary, issuing an immediate life-time club ban, he engaged in further abusive banter with previously cited goalkeeper before, heading for the dressing-room some 150 yards away.
However, the final humiliation fell to the offender, because, there is little more embarrassing, after hurling abuse and threats to all within earshot, to find oneself alone in a scruffy car park faced with a locked dressing-room door. All of a sudden, the luminous orange boots, the gloves, and the hollow threats of being ‘well ’ard’, look faintly ridiculous faced with a locked-door and nearby pedestrians at the local shops looking-on with mild amusement.
Saturday 28 January 2017
Blackrod Town v Mostonians - Prem
The haunting sound of the Ice Cream Man’s desolate tune was an existential welcome to a rain-swept Community Centre where 3rd hosted 4th in the Premiership.
And, within 10 minutes, goalmouth action at each end had rewarded the sheltering spectators. In reply to hitting the crossbar with a header, and opening the scoring a minute later, Blackrod seemed determined to keep the game on an even-keel by volleying into their own goal from a Mostonians corner. Both sets of teams’ representatives offered me a warm welcome and despite much huffing and puffing, the game had settled into a battling stalemate ‘til half-time.
Half-time was an interesting event: Mostonians stayed-out, Blackrod went-in – as did the referee. Mostonians took to the pitch after five minutes, Blackrod after six; the referee after eight? I checked Rule 10H:
The half-time interval shall be of 5 minutes duration, but it shall not exceed fifteen minutes. [Note to League Council: numbers less than nine should be written in prose; 10 or more should be written in figures.] [Second note to League Council; this Rule doesn’t make sense.]
Referee, xxx, is a keen conversationalist, usually, when admonishing one player, managing to include an opponent in the debate. By the close he had managed to register two Mostonians players in his little book; unsurprisingly, for engaging in more conversation than was necessary.
During the second half, a more dominant Blackrod team had also managed to add the two winning goals; Mostonians had offered little goalmouth threat. It was a game dominated by both sets of centre-halves, at least until the final 15 minutes, but the Blackrod front-line was well-led by Matt Davies and Sam, the rather fortunate scorer of the second goal which was blasted against his shins by the Mostonians defender and straight back into the net.
It was one of those games where the winning side, once showered and refreshed, would have enjoyed their post-match pints; whilst the losing side, after a longish drive home, would shiver in reflection of the rain, wind and cold in this corner of Bolton, and look forward to better days.
Saturday 04 February 2017
Working!
Saturday 11 February 2017
Mostonians v Tottington United - Prem
I was diverted from a long hike to Accrington Amateurs, our Northernmost club, at the last minute, when it was called ‘on’ by the club, but ‘off’ by the ref, when both teams had travelled.
I changed plans and followed the M60 around to Middleton and a run down Broadway to the Lancaster ground to watch a match between two teams that I had already seen in 2017, but not at this Home venue (for the last time!).
There is very little in common between Broadway in Middleton and its namesake in New York City: no bright lights or Times Square as it diagonally crosses 5th, 6th and 7th Avenues; but a few dull semis before turning into the social club of those who built the Lancaster Bombers for our World War effort. It looked neglected. I have been told earlier in the season that this was Mostonians last season at the Avro sports and social club with its grandiose but tired-looking building, anachronistic in the centre of the muddy and un-rolled meadows: apparently it will be apartments and the rest will be housing next year. They’ll have to clear a bit of a mess: the parking lot had become a fly-tipping target and a burnt-out car gave it a look of ‘A Clockwork Orange’ film set.
I was late, and wandered over to watch the main game; no score with half-time looming. At the break I wandered onto the pitch to congratulate the team of officials on a good job done so far. I introduced myself as the President of the LAL, we joshed a little, and I took advantage of the break to go and watch the other game on the far, and inferior, pitch.
Having introduced myself to the guys on the line, associated with Tottington, I thought it was a coincidence that Mostonians would have two games at home – both against the same opposition. Slow dawning … that I had been watching the wrong game for half-an-hour – that was Avro v Wythenshawe Town (I did wonder about the two female physios) in the semi-final of some Cup. Duuurrrrrr!
By now, the game I had come to see – Mostonians v Tottington United – was even at 1-1, and even in gameplay. With the slight advantage of slope and breeze, Mostonians scored a timely, leading goal just before half-time, going in at 2-1.
In the second-half, Mostonians maintained their advantage with a third goal directly from a free-kick which made its way above/around a reluctant-looking wall. The young Tottington outfit kept the game alive when Mostonians elegant centre-half neatly passed into the corner of his own goal, but Mostonians immediately restored their two goal cushion with a close-range effort: final score, 4-2.
I received a warm welcome from both touchlines at a game played in good spirit, almost end-of-season style, with little serious confrontation and all players mingling as they left the field of play to the welcome of the bar on this bleak day at a bleak and forgotten venue.
Saturday 18 February and Saturday 25 February 2017
No Diary for these two weeks as I am leading a team of teachers on a teacher training week in our link Diocese of Lahore in Pakistan.
My last visit was characterised by suicide bombings in the sister church to where I was speaking on our first day – 28 dead – later, I met the Head of PE from the local high school.
“I’m from Manchester - home of Manchester United – the third largest global brand. Do you know how they got on today?”
“Never heard of them; don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Football – soccer?”
“No – we only play cricket.”
“But what do you play in the winter?”
“What’s winter? We only play cricket.”
“Do you have a Head of Girls PE?”
“No, there’s only me.”
“So, what do the girls play – netball, hockey?”
“No – cricket.”
This year, message from our host, Colonel Azim:
At times there is snow in Murree in February. This we might know through met forecast few days before 22nd Feb. I discussed about a very interesting event with Bishop Irfan and that is 5 to 10 overs cricket match between Bishop Mark's 11 and, Bishop Irfan's 11. This game will be played with tennis ball with tape on it. We might fit in this match on Friday from 2 to 4 p.m. What do you think about it?
Col Azim
I think a cricket match would be brilliant although we have mainly girls and no talent. Off to the nets.
Maurice
Dear Canon Maurice,
Thank you for accepting the challenge for the cricket match. In Lahore Diocesan Board of Education, most of the Heads are females so both the teams are on equal footings. Bishop will play against Bishop and Directors Education will play against each other. I think it will be a great fun.
Regards.
Col. Azim
President’s Diary resumes in March.
05 March 2018
There may have been snow in the Pakistani Himalayas, but there was also plenty of rain in Lancashire – so much so, that I couldn’t find a match/team that I hadn’t already visited so a blank day, I’m afraid.
By the way, we beat our Pakistani colleagues at cricket – and table tennis.
12 March 2017
Accrington Ams Res v Horwich St Mary’s Res - Reserve Team Cup
Cup fever – both in the LAL and Quarter Final day for the big boys – and smaller fry – well done Lincoln for progressing this far.
I finally found a Saturday to make my way to our Northernmost club, Accrington Amateurs, whilst their 1st XI were receiving a good thrashing (7-2) by my home club at Ashtonians, including goal of the season, allegedly.
My son has lived and worked in Accy for a decade, so it feels partly like home turf – we always look out for Stanley’s score (after Everton and Wigan). He lived just up the road (actually on Whalley Road) from Accy Ams’ home ground of Livingstone Road, in the shadow of Stanley’s Crown Ground (now bizarrely named the WHAM Stadium), where there is loads of Ashtonians history. He maintains his loyalty to Ashtonians, travelling twice weekly for training and playing.
My favourite story from Livingstone Road is another quite recent cup fixture between Accy Ams and Ashtonians which went to penalties. The penalty shoot-out happened to coincide with half-time of Stanley v York City, causing the great crowd to turn round and watch the Livingstone Road shoot out. Ashtonians prolific scorer (he of the ‘goal of the season’ above), Dale Clinton, inevitably tucked away his penalty successfully, knee-sliding towards the assembled fans in Stanley’s ground. Ashtonians second penalty taker, the more portly Policeman figure of Macca, missed his attempt, provoking chants from the Stanley ground of: ‘You fat bas----‘ – of course, it’s stuck.
No such drama this Saturday when the lower division (3) team, Horwich St Mary’s Victoria, after going behind, ran out comfortable winners with three second half goals, against the higher Division (2) Accy Reserves. Notable incidents, of which there were few, included a let-off for the Accy centre-forward whose so-called tackle on the full-back was so late, the ball was in the other half of the field. His claim to have played/gone for the ball was as ridiculous as the way that Horwich defenders managed to buy three of his dummies later in the half when he scored the goal of the match. It was at that point that I noticed the tightness of the kit on the Horwich back-four: had they bought a small set or were they just pleased to see the President?
But Horwich were the superior outfit and rattled-in three inevitable goals in the second-half to run-out comfortable winners, although, if Accy’s two second-half attempts that hit the post had gone-in, it could have been a different story.
The match was well refereed and the pitch and playing surface, Accy’s third of the season, at the Heyes ground in Oswaldtwistle, was a significant improvement. I left as the gentle moorland breeze started to nudge round the sails of the overlooking Rossendale wind farm with the following thought: the team with the fewer subs and no balls usually loses. This was the correlation here: Accy, the home team, had one sub, one limping spectator, and the one ball that was played with (as the Home team); Horwich had a whole team of subs and speccys on the line, and a massive ball bag with loads of balls, both literally and metaphorically, hence 1-3.
Radcliffe St Mary’s v Castle Hill – Div 1
It was great to meet Home chairman, linesman and Secretary’s spouse, Dave Gantz. We reckoned we must have played against each other during his long association with Bury GSOB. By the time he finished his LAL travelogue – for him to his father-in-law’s Catholic club; for the players from Failsworth to Radcliffe; and his personal intention to return as the Club’s 52-year-old goalkeeper; I had lost track of this new club’s pedigree and decided to watch a team whose 1st XI had shipped 10 goals at my Club a fortnight previously, but whose Reserves then beat Ashtonians Reserves 4-5 last week.
Castle Hill were the dominant team although scores were level at 1-1 at half-time and, although Radcliffe St Mary’s were the weaker side, they created a number of half-chances. Castle Hill dominated the second-half with a couple of goals which put the ultimate result beyond doubt, but then this uneventful game sprang into disciplinary life 10 minutes from the end, as I was wandering back to my car. It was pre-empted by the extraordinary claims of the Castle Hill goalkeeper in challenging a club linesman’s decision that the ball was out-of-play on a touchline 90 yards from the goalkeeper’s central position in the opposite penalty area. [Note to players: nothing annoys referees more than players appealing against decisions from the opposite ends of the pitch accompanied by volleys of abusive language.] Following an immediate, subsequent incident which, Wenger-like, I did not see, the referee sent-off one player from each side.
The Radcliffe player was not happy. He continued…and continued…and continued to abuse anyone within earshot until he had to be instructed (very calmly and expertly) by the referee to leave the area. As he was chased-off by the Home team’s Secretary, issuing an immediate life-time club ban, he engaged in further abusive banter with previously cited goalkeeper before, heading for the dressing-room some 150 yards away.
However, the final humiliation fell to the offender, because, there is little more embarrassing, after hurling abuse and threats to all within earshot, to find oneself alone in a scruffy car park faced with a locked dressing-room door. All of a sudden, the luminous orange boots, the gloves, and the hollow threats of being ‘well ’ard’, look faintly ridiculous faced with a locked-door and nearby pedestrians at the local shops looking-on with mild amusement.
Saturday 28 January 2017
Blackrod Town v Mostonians - Prem
The haunting sound of the Ice Cream Man’s desolate tune was an existential welcome to a rain-swept Community Centre where 3rd hosted 4th in the Premiership.
And, within 10 minutes, goalmouth action at each end had rewarded the sheltering spectators. In reply to hitting the crossbar with a header, and opening the scoring a minute later, Blackrod seemed determined to keep the game on an even-keel by volleying into their own goal from a Mostonians corner. Both sets of teams’ representatives offered me a warm welcome and despite much huffing and puffing, the game had settled into a battling stalemate ‘til half-time.
Half-time was an interesting event: Mostonians stayed-out, Blackrod went-in – as did the referee. Mostonians took to the pitch after five minutes, Blackrod after six; the referee after eight? I checked Rule 10H:
The half-time interval shall be of 5 minutes duration, but it shall not exceed fifteen minutes. [Note to League Council: numbers less than nine should be written in prose; 10 or more should be written in figures.] [Second note to League Council; this Rule doesn’t make sense.]
Referee, xxx, is a keen conversationalist, usually, when admonishing one player, managing to include an opponent in the debate. By the close he had managed to register two Mostonians players in his little book; unsurprisingly, for engaging in more conversation than was necessary.
During the second half, a more dominant Blackrod team had also managed to add the two winning goals; Mostonians had offered little goalmouth threat. It was a game dominated by both sets of centre-halves, at least until the final 15 minutes, but the Blackrod front-line was well-led by Matt Davies and Sam, the rather fortunate scorer of the second goal which was blasted against his shins by the Mostonians defender and straight back into the net.
It was one of those games where the winning side, once showered and refreshed, would have enjoyed their post-match pints; whilst the losing side, after a longish drive home, would shiver in reflection of the rain, wind and cold in this corner of Bolton, and look forward to better days.
Saturday 04 February 2017
Working!
Saturday 11 February 2017
Mostonians v Tottington United - Prem
I was diverted from a long hike to Accrington Amateurs, our Northernmost club, at the last minute, when it was called ‘on’ by the club, but ‘off’ by the ref, when both teams had travelled.
I changed plans and followed the M60 around to Middleton and a run down Broadway to the Lancaster ground to watch a match between two teams that I had already seen in 2017, but not at this Home venue (for the last time!).
There is very little in common between Broadway in Middleton and its namesake in New York City: no bright lights or Times Square as it diagonally crosses 5th, 6th and 7th Avenues; but a few dull semis before turning into the social club of those who built the Lancaster Bombers for our World War effort. It looked neglected. I have been told earlier in the season that this was Mostonians last season at the Avro sports and social club with its grandiose but tired-looking building, anachronistic in the centre of the muddy and un-rolled meadows: apparently it will be apartments and the rest will be housing next year. They’ll have to clear a bit of a mess: the parking lot had become a fly-tipping target and a burnt-out car gave it a look of ‘A Clockwork Orange’ film set.
I was late, and wandered over to watch the main game; no score with half-time looming. At the break I wandered onto the pitch to congratulate the team of officials on a good job done so far. I introduced myself as the President of the LAL, we joshed a little, and I took advantage of the break to go and watch the other game on the far, and inferior, pitch.
Having introduced myself to the guys on the line, associated with Tottington, I thought it was a coincidence that Mostonians would have two games at home – both against the same opposition. Slow dawning … that I had been watching the wrong game for half-an-hour – that was Avro v Wythenshawe Town (I did wonder about the two female physios) in the semi-final of some Cup. Duuurrrrrr!
By now, the game I had come to see – Mostonians v Tottington United – was even at 1-1, and even in gameplay. With the slight advantage of slope and breeze, Mostonians scored a timely, leading goal just before half-time, going in at 2-1.
In the second-half, Mostonians maintained their advantage with a third goal directly from a free-kick which made its way above/around a reluctant-looking wall. The young Tottington outfit kept the game alive when Mostonians elegant centre-half neatly passed into the corner of his own goal, but Mostonians immediately restored their two goal cushion with a close-range effort: final score, 4-2.
I received a warm welcome from both touchlines at a game played in good spirit, almost end-of-season style, with little serious confrontation and all players mingling as they left the field of play to the welcome of the bar on this bleak day at a bleak and forgotten venue.
Saturday 18 February and Saturday 25 February 2017
No Diary for these two weeks as I am leading a team of teachers on a teacher training week in our link Diocese of Lahore in Pakistan.
My last visit was characterised by suicide bombings in the sister church to where I was speaking on our first day – 28 dead – later, I met the Head of PE from the local high school.
“I’m from Manchester - home of Manchester United – the third largest global brand. Do you know how they got on today?”
“Never heard of them; don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Football – soccer?”
“No – we only play cricket.”
“But what do you play in the winter?”
“What’s winter? We only play cricket.”
“Do you have a Head of Girls PE?”
“No, there’s only me.”
“So, what do the girls play – netball, hockey?”
“No – cricket.”
This year, message from our host, Colonel Azim:
At times there is snow in Murree in February. This we might know through met forecast few days before 22nd Feb. I discussed about a very interesting event with Bishop Irfan and that is 5 to 10 overs cricket match between Bishop Mark's 11 and, Bishop Irfan's 11. This game will be played with tennis ball with tape on it. We might fit in this match on Friday from 2 to 4 p.m. What do you think about it?
Col Azim
I think a cricket match would be brilliant although we have mainly girls and no talent. Off to the nets.
Maurice
Dear Canon Maurice,
Thank you for accepting the challenge for the cricket match. In Lahore Diocesan Board of Education, most of the Heads are females so both the teams are on equal footings. Bishop will play against Bishop and Directors Education will play against each other. I think it will be a great fun.
Regards.
Col. Azim
President’s Diary resumes in March.
05 March 2018
There may have been snow in the Pakistani Himalayas, but there was also plenty of rain in Lancashire – so much so, that I couldn’t find a match/team that I hadn’t already visited so a blank day, I’m afraid.
By the way, we beat our Pakistani colleagues at cricket – and table tennis.
12 March 2017
Accrington Ams Res v Horwich St Mary’s Res - Reserve Team Cup
Cup fever – both in the LAL and Quarter Final day for the big boys – and smaller fry – well done Lincoln for progressing this far.
I finally found a Saturday to make my way to our Northernmost club, Accrington Amateurs, whilst their 1st XI were receiving a good thrashing (7-2) by my home club at Ashtonians, including goal of the season, allegedly.
My son has lived and worked in Accy for a decade, so it feels partly like home turf – we always look out for Stanley’s score (after Everton and Wigan). He lived just up the road (actually on Whalley Road) from Accy Ams’ home ground of Livingstone Road, in the shadow of Stanley’s Crown Ground (now bizarrely named the WHAM Stadium), where there is loads of Ashtonians history. He maintains his loyalty to Ashtonians, travelling twice weekly for training and playing.
My favourite story from Livingstone Road is another quite recent cup fixture between Accy Ams and Ashtonians which went to penalties. The penalty shoot-out happened to coincide with half-time of Stanley v York City, causing the great crowd to turn round and watch the Livingstone Road shoot out. Ashtonians prolific scorer (he of the ‘goal of the season’ above), Dale Clinton, inevitably tucked away his penalty successfully, knee-sliding towards the assembled fans in Stanley’s ground. Ashtonians second penalty taker, the more portly Policeman figure of Macca, missed his attempt, provoking chants from the Stanley ground of: ‘You fat bas----‘ – of course, it’s stuck.
No such drama this Saturday when the lower division (3) team, Horwich St Mary’s Victoria, after going behind, ran out comfortable winners with three second half goals, against the higher Division (2) Accy Reserves. Notable incidents, of which there were few, included a let-off for the Accy centre-forward whose so-called tackle on the full-back was so late, the ball was in the other half of the field. His claim to have played/gone for the ball was as ridiculous as the way that Horwich defenders managed to buy three of his dummies later in the half when he scored the goal of the match. It was at that point that I noticed the tightness of the kit on the Horwich back-four: had they bought a small set or were they just pleased to see the President?
But Horwich were the superior outfit and rattled-in three inevitable goals in the second-half to run-out comfortable winners, although, if Accy’s two second-half attempts that hit the post had gone-in, it could have been a different story.
The match was well refereed and the pitch and playing surface, Accy’s third of the season, at the Heyes ground in Oswaldtwistle, was a significant improvement. I left as the gentle moorland breeze started to nudge round the sails of the overlooking Rossendale wind farm with the following thought: the team with the fewer subs and no balls usually loses. This was the correlation here: Accy, the home team, had one sub, one limping spectator, and the one ball that was played with (as the Home team); Horwich had a whole team of subs and speccys on the line, and a massive ball bag with loads of balls, both literally and metaphorically, hence 1-3.
